haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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