I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
