one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
