sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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