My hand turned me down
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize