This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
