I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
