she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
