...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So many bounce houses so little time
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
