Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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