More tranny stories later!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
