did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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