if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize