why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
