So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
