Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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