Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I could fuck to npr.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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