I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
