i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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