So drunk its hurt
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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