Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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