I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
