I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
