I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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