her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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