Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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