11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
