Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
