you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
