I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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