Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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