I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
