brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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