I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
