did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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