haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
