Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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