Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
