there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
