and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize