God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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