And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
