he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
