We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?