Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
