PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dick very happy bro
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
