Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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