and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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