Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
