Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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