does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
