at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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