apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
