Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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