Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize