where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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