My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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