He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
