When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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