i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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