he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it because I queefed?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
