the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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