ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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